I am going to tell you a story about a guy like you. He matched with a woman on CamDating who was smart, funny and actually lived in a similar time zone. It should have turned into a great video date. Instead, he almost ruined it with over texting before first date.
If you have ever stared at your phone and wondered whether to send โone more messageโ, this story will feel familiar. You will see what over texting before first date looks like in practice and how a few simple rules can keep your texts calm, attractive and easy to answer.
The point is not to judge him. The point is to learn from his mistakes so you do not have to repeat them with someone who could have been a great match.
How one guy almost texted his way out of a good video date
Let us call him Marco. A few weeks ago he matched with a woman who checked almost all his boxes. They moved from quick likes to longer messages in the CamDating chat and planned a first video date for the weekend.
At first the texts were light: simple jokes, a few questions about work and hobbies, a couple of short voice notes. Then Marco started to feel that silence between replies meant something was wrong. To fix it, he began sending more and more detailed messages.
What โover texting before first dateโ actually looks like
Here is what over texting before first date looked like in real life:
- He sent long paragraphs about his day while her replies stayed short and simple.
- He answered instantly to every message instead of letting the conversation breathe.
- He kept asking โare you still there?โ and โdid I say something wrong?โ after short pauses.
If you looked at his chat history, you would see blocks of his messages stacked on top of each other with only occasional one-line answers from her. That is a classic sign of over texting before first date: the chat turns into a monologue, not a conversation.
Why over texting before first date kills the tension
Why does this kind of over texting before first date hurt your chances? Because it changes how she feels about the upcoming video date. Instead of being curious about you, she already feels like she knows your entire life story before meeting you. There is no tension left.
On top of that, even if your messages are kind and respectful, the volume can make you look anxious. She has her own life and responsibilities. When she opens CamDating and sees ten new paragraphs from you, it feels like homework, not fun. If you want a neutral outside view, you can also skim this short guide on avoiding over texting and then adapt it to your own style.
If you combine this with other red flags from stories about video dates that went wrong, like the ones in this red flag story, you can see how small texting mistakes stack up and kill chemistry before you even turn on the camera.
The small shift that saved his video date
Fortunately, Marco noticed that something was off. A friend showed him the chat and asked a simple question: โIf you were in her place, would you want to answer all of this after work?โ That was enough to make him change his approach.
He decided to follow one rule: no more walls of text and no more chasing every pause. Instead, he sent shorter messages, asked one question at a time and stopped explaining every detail of his life before the first video date.
The result? The conversation started to feel lighter. She began sending more emojis, small jokes and even suggested moving the call slightly earlier so they could talk longer. By texting less, he actually became easier to talk to.
Simple rules to stop over texting before first date
Here are a few simple rules to stop over texting before first date without playing games:
- Keep it to a few exchanges a day before the first call. You are warming up the connection, not building a long-distance relationship yet.
- Match her pace. If she sends short, occasional messages, you do not need to send novels.
- Save deeper topics for the video date. Keep some stories for when you can see and hear each other.
If you want more ideas for what to say on the call instead of in endless chats, you can use flirty questions from this webcam question guide and texting tips from this post about texting after dates to keep everything simple and attractive.
What to do if you already sent too many messages
What if you read this and realise you already made the same mistake? Maybe your chat history also looks like a wall of your messages. That does not mean everything is lost.
First, stop digging the hole deeper. Slow down your replies and let the conversation rest for a bit. You do not need to send a long apology for over texting before first date. Just keep your next messages shorter and lighter.
Second, you can gently move the focus toward the upcoming video date: suggest a time, offer a simple idea for the call and keep the tone calm. If she agrees and seems relaxed, you have already recovered more than you think. If she pulls away, you still learned a lesson you can use with the next match.
Key lessons you can steal from his story
The story of Marco is not unique. A lot of men on CamDating fall into the same trap because they care and do not want to โmess it upโ. Ironically, trying too hard through over texting before first date is exactly what creates problems.
Remember these simple points:
- Texting is for setting up and warming up the video date, not replacing it.
- A few honest, clear messages beat a long string of paragraphs every time.
- It is better to leave some curiosity for the call instead of answering every question in advance.
Use this story as a reminder the next time you are tempted to type a long message late at night. Take a breath, shorten what you want to say and let her come toward you too. That is how you avoid the trap of over texting before first date and give both of you a chance to enjoy the first video date instead of burning it out in the chat.
